I woke up today without a voice. I can only squeak out words and even that hurts. It’s funny because just last night I was praying that God would show me how to be less negative, and help me to only say things that are uplifting to others. While I hope His intention is not to silence me forever, I do believe I am being taught a lesson today, and He has answered my prayer.
Today I have had to choose my words. I am home all day with my daughters and so I’ve had to choose what to say. I realized that I really don’t have much to say throughout the day. They are amazing children. So why on other days am I constantly telling them what or how to do something, or chastising them for speaking too loudly or running too quickly? I sat in silence much of the day and we played, we painted, we colored and we danced. We had fun without my voice of reason or objection. My smile was all the affirmation they needed and just being near me was enough.
I’ve learned today that sometimes (probably too much of the time) I say too many unnecessary things. Sometimes just watching is where you can find joy. That just letting my kids be who they are, rather than who I want them to be is enough. I don’t always have to be in the middle of their growing lives, but sometimes the sidelines can be sweet too.
I do hope my voice returns soon so I can praise, worship, sing and teach my kids beautiful things, but I hope it returns with a positive tongue. I hope I speak words of love, not discouragement. And I hope to continue to choose my words wisely, and silence the rest.